Does anyone else literally do nothing?

I've been laying in bed all day for years. I'm 25 and my youth has been completely robbed from me and I live like a dying old man. Like I'm bed bound and my prime years have been wasted rotting away in a room alone, deteriorating mentally and physically. It's so disappointing and I'm so upset at myself for wasting my life, but at the same time I didn't really choose this, I can't function at all and if I were just lazy I'd be watching TV or some shit but I don't even do that. Time is going by fast now and I'm getting older and life is just passing me by and it's so fucking sad..

Literally playing video games is a task for me, like it's that bad. It's so so sad and disappointing. I wish I had a normal life. I wish I wasn't declared fucking disabled at 24 years old. I wish I had a memorable youth and good times and developed and had hobbies and started a family and fell in love. I wish I wasn't a husk of a person wasting away, the same day repeating over and over again.

I wake up and within ten seconds realize oh fuck, I'm back in the nightmare. And then the day just slowly passes as I wither away and writhe and cry and panic over how shit my life is and how fucked up this is and how soon it's all gonna be over and how quickly my youth is expiring.

It didn't have to be like this. How could you do this to someone? I often think about the mentality of rapists and abusers. Do they not realize they're ruining someone's life? All my life force has been robbed from me and I'm completely empty, I have no soul, no willpower, no fight. I wonder if these people realize that's what they're doing to someone.

I hate my life so much and my life sucks so bad and I so wish I could just get up and be normal. I'm so mad every day I waste and all the time that I've lost and I'm losing and how quickly I'm aging and I will never get over it. I wish that I could commit suicide. I really do.